I saw them every day. Stephanie was promoted to a senior-level role. Ann joined a new organization. Julie completed her MBA. Phil obtained another certification. Mike started a (third) business. And everyone was flitting from conference to conference, expanding their networks and accelerating their development.
These updates flooded my LinkedIn feed like an unstoppable surge of reminders that my peers were doing more and better than me.
Just clicking on a notification could send me into a panic. Should I be doing something else? Aiming for something bigger? I wasn’t racking up any of these accomplishments, so clearly, something had to change.
I knew I needed to take action and eventually landed on a solution.
I silenced the noise. I turned off my notifications, and I stopped logging into LinkedIn. And an extraordinary thing happened. My anxiety and self-doubt disappeared. When the status updates on my network’s most minor milestones stopped, I was finally able to tune into the only voice that mattered—my own. I didn’t want the things my peers were posting about, but their pervasiveness made me feel like I should.
In a world full of external noise, it’s easy to lose touch with our inner selves.
We may start to feel like our paths are dictated to us and we need to conform, keep up, or outpace the competition.
All the pressure and expectation can make it difficult to differentiate between what we feel we ‘have to do’ and what we truly ‘want to do. That’s when it’s time to rediscover our guiding light.
But paving your own path often requires you to cut through the clutter, let go of assumptions, and break free from long-held beliefs about what you ‘should’ do. Here are five tips to help you quiet the external noise and tune into your inner voice:
Disconnect (even temporarily)
Take breaks from social media, email, and other digital demands. Give yourself the space to reflect and reconnect with your thoughts, feelings, and true desires.
Exiting social media has been life-changing for me. At the same time that I left LinkedIn, I also silenced my Facebook notifications and deleted my Instagram and Twitter accounts. I only receive notifications on my remaining platforms if someone directly mentions or messages me, which allows me to avoid the noise from my newsfeed.
Spend time solo
Amidst the loneliness epidemic, it may seem counterintuitive to suggest withdrawing from others. But scheduling regular alone time can help us find new clarity. Use this time to do things that bring you joy and allow for introspection.
As a self-professed introvert, I love spending time alone. It helps me clear my head and calm my nerves when too many calls, emails, and other contact has left me feeling frazzled. This solitary time is necessary to help me re-center.
Set boundaries
For many of us, “yes” is our automatic response to every request that comes our way. Learning to say “no” isn’t easy, but it can free you from commitments that don’t align with your values and priorities. Boundaries help you protect your inner peace.
I admittedly struggle with setting boundaries, and I’ve spent years telling myself that I need to say “no” more often. The first step I took was a simple one: I chose one day a week to block my calendar and promised myself I wouldn’t allow an appointment to creep in unless it was unavoidable.
Create your “life brief”
Take time to consider what truly makes you happy and what you really want from life. What fulfills you personally and professionally? Write your vision down and use it as a guide for decision-making.
I recently stumbled upon this article that suggested writing a “life brief” to help you visualize your ideal state of being. I love that it starts with “get messy,” which is exactly how any creative process begins. Spilling everything from your head is the first step towards gaining clarity.
Practice self-compassion
Perhaps the most important thing you can do on your journey to rediscover your inner voice is to be kind to yourself. Remember that it’s okay not to meet every expectation or respond to every demand.
We’ve talked about the importance of self-compassion before. Throughout the day, we cycle through a lot of feelings in response to what’s going on externally. And sometimes, we beat ourselves up for allowing those feelings to emerge. Instead, try to observe them as they come and go without getting caught up in a harmful internal narrative.
At Transitions Coaching, we help people work through the external noise to find their inner voice.
Our individual coaching and group programs can help you tune into yourself to better understand how you relate and can respond to the world around you. Meet the Transitions Coaching team here and learn how we can help you gain clarity.