You may not realize it, but we all carry multiple narratives:
- The story we tell ourselves.
- The story we desire to live.
- The story others tell about us.
These narratives are powerful. They shape how we show up, how we lead, how we’re perceived—in life and at work. But these stories also carry a real danger: misalignment between the three can create blind spots, missed opportunities, and even gaps in credibility.
So, how do you bring all three stories into lockstep? It starts by understanding that leadership isn’t about perfect storytelling. It’s about aligning intention and perception.
The Three Stories of Leadership
The sheer volume of these stories can be overwhelming, not to mention the nuances between the three. Understanding each story and the role it plays in your identity as a leader is the first step toward gaining clarity.
1. The story you tell yourself
This is your inner narrative—how you see your strengths, intentions, and impact. It’s personal and often optimistic, but it can also be shaped by blind spots and assumptions.
2. The story you aspire to live
This is your aspirational narrative—who you want to be as a leader. It reflects your values, vision, and the presence you want to bring into every situation. Think of it as your leadership North Star.
3. The story others tell about you
This is the narrative shaped by the people around you—your team, peers, and others. It’s based on the way they experience you and your leadership. It may or may not reflect your intentions, and sometimes, it’s not the story you think (or want) them to tell.
When these three stories align, your leadership feels authentic, intentional, and trusted. But when they don’t, you may find yourself feeling misunderstood, surprised by feedback, or struggling to influence effectively.
How to Strengthen Narrative Alignment
Stepping into your full leadership potential requires you to bring these three stories together. Doing so is a practice rooted in self-awareness, thoughtful reflection, and intentional action.
1. Reflect honestly on your self-story
This is your starting point. When you’re aware of your own narrative, you can separate what’s real from what’s assumed and become more open to feedback.
Ask yourself: “How do I think I show up?” and “Where might my intentions not match my impact?”
Make it tangible: Jot down three leadership qualities you’re proud of and three areas where you suspect blind spots might exist.
2. Articulate your aspirational story
Define the leader you want to be. Naming your aspirations gives you a benchmark against which you can measure your current reality and future growth.
Ask yourself: “What kind of presence do I want to lead with?” and “How do I want people to feel after interacting with me?”
Make it tangible: Put your intentions on paper by creating a short leadership vision statement.
3. Seek feedback with curiosity
Perception lives in other people’s stories. Ask for honest perspectives from others, and remember that curiosity shifts feedback from something to fear into something to learn from.
Ask yourself: “Whose perspectives would give me the clearest picture?” Consider peers, direct reports, managers or mentors, or even clients.
Make it tangible: Schedule two or three intentional feedback conversations with trusted peers.
4. Close the gaps
Once you see where your stories align (or don’t), you can begin to bridge the space between intention and perception.
Ask yourself: “What changes would make my aspirational story more visible to others?” and “What behaviors are undermining my story?”
Make it tangible: Identify a few behavior shifts to experiment with. For example, if others perceive you as distant, try slowing down and asking more questions in meetings.
5. Repeat regularly
Leadership stories are rarely static. They evolve as you grow and your context changes, and regular reflection will ensure your leadership story keeps pace with your growth.
Ask yourself: “What’s shifted in my leadership over the past six months?” and “What new stories are emerging?”
Make it tangible: Build a rhythm of reflection into your leadership practice with journaling or a monthly check-in with a coach.
Using Feedback to Bridge the Gap
Reflecting on your inner and aspirational narratives is a great place to start, but real growth requires a deeper understanding of the ways others perceive and respond to your leadership. One way to gain those insights is with the Leadership Circle Profile™ (LCP) 360 Assessment.
The LCP 360 Assessment helps to surface your unique “operating system” and opportunities for development. It provides a structured, comprehensive way to:
- See how others actually experience you and your leadership.
- Compare their perceptions with your self-story and your aspirational story.
- Identify where the narratives align and where they don’t.
When you participate in the process, you’ll ask others around you to share feedback on your leadership traits and behaviors. Their input will help you gain a deeper understanding of your strengths, the traits that may be limiting you, and your growth opportunities.
It’s important to remember, though, that this isn’t a one-and-done exercise. However you choose to seek feedback, it should become a regular part of your leadership practice. It’s a necessary element to help you evolve, expand your perspective, and grow into the leader you truly want to be.
A Year-End Reflection
The end of the year is a natural time for reflection and intention-setting. As you consider the past year, think about what you’ve accomplished and the stories that shaped your leadership along the way. Are your intentions and others’ perceptions in alignment, or is there room to bridge the gaps in the year ahead?
At Transitions Coaching, we help people align their stories and step into leadership that’s clear, credible, and value-driven. If you’re ready to explore what aligned, authentic leadership could look like for you, we’d love to connect.
Interested in learning more about the LCP 360? Click here: Leadership Circle Profile™ (LCP) 360 Assessment
